Photo by Karolina Grabowska
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 6
I got my first fucking paycheck! I make fifty fucking dollars an hour and I brought home only four hundred and fifty fucking dollars! What the fuck? They taxed the fuck out of me. I was expecting at least seven fifty. A lot of it is for a forced retirement fund. I’ll get that when I retire, but that sucks. I want the money I worked for in my hand right now. If I want to save it, which I will, I want to save it in my bank. I want access to my money when I say it’s time to use it.
And how much of the sweat I produce goes to welfare? Lazy fucks that have nothing better to do than get fucked, spread disease and make more babies no one wants or needs. There are already enough assholes in the world, and I don’t particularly care to feed them. They’re better off getting what their lousy parents can provide, nothing. See how much better off they’d be if they had to work or starve to death. I’m sure they can find work if those were their only options. I’ve lived with those leaches. They laugh at the liberals that think they’re doing them a favor by giving them free food, housing and money. They laugh about it! There’s no pride, no morals, nothing positive to offer anyone, especially kids. It makes me sick.
And I don’t get any health benefits because I’m only part time. I haven’t had health insurance for nine years now. Good thing I’m healthy enough to not have needed it. I go and see a dentist about every four years, cause that’s about as often as I can afford it. Good thing my teeth are still perfect. Still, it hurts like hell when they scrape four years of plaque off of your teeth. It takes forever. I haven’t had my uterus scraped in seven years. I could be full of cancer and not even know it. On the other hand, those that get pregnant by some slutfucker can get medical benefits. Reward the irresponsible, real fucking nice. That should encourage a productive society. I am so fucking pissed. I need a damn joint.
Now I feel better.
Still, even with them taking half of my money, I’m far better off than most people I know, and I only work twenty hours a week. I live a simple, frugal life. Still, I’d prefer to get a little more extravagant, but I’m saving for Europe. I’m disgusted in myself because I’m thirty and haven’t made it there yet. Finally I’ll be able to make it there. It feels so good to have something to look forward to.
I can’t believe I have the fencer’s dream job and I’m bitching about it. If I were any of my friends, I’d call myself an ingrate. Aesthetically pleasing surroundings, they pay me very well, before the government steps in. Now I can afford to drink good beer, Samuel Adams, instead of that cheap malt liquor I’ve been living on.
It’ll be nice to get used to having some decent money for a change. Then I can afford to buy new books, not having to worry about overdue books and library fines all the time.
I’m in New England now so I won’t have to travel so far to get to the good fencing competitions.
It’s even the writer’s dream job, a lot of time off, making a lot of cash during the few hours I do work. I’m getting plenty of inspiration lately. I thought my work would take away from my writing, but it hasn’t. I work at the school for four hours, come home and relax a little then write for four more. I’m full of ideas lately. It takes me more or less an hour to get to work, depending on the morons during rush hour traffic. Lots of time to think about what I’ll write next.
I have an idea right now, time to get to work on my book, Dope Fiends’ Paradise.
